So the ol question of, to educate or not? I have been in school so long, I think I have built my whole identity around being a student- which is harbored by having self declared - life long learners or professional students for parents.
The problem is I need to figure things out for me, I have made most of my life choices based on others around me. I am not placing the blame on them as it wasn;t even their intention, but I used it to stifle me and me intentions. I choose to go for school for so long because I was scared of being an adult- the whole idea does not seem fun by any means. I chose to live in the same city, even though there is more opportunity else where because I have built my network of close relationships here. To up root seems like a betrayal to my friends and family.
I was conformable, until now, just going about my day to day life, seeing the same people everyday, making no new friends because the ones I have I have had since birth (an exaggeration but it feels like that), I have taken no risks- there for I have received no big rewards. I rely so heavily on those around me to keep me in my comfort zone, that when they dont deliver, I take it personally and allow it to consume me.
But this needs to stop. I need to figure out whats best for me, which I have been avoiding for so long I think I even know who me is anymore, and this is not a sad poor me, I am 25 and need to find my self, I know my self, I am here I just become a little less me on some days and vice versa
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